What Was I Doing This Morning (Spoken Poem with Music)

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What Was I Doing This Morning

What was I doing this morning?
I walked out the door and went for a swim
I was hunting for something but I don’t remember what it was
I looked for a list but it wasn’t in my pocket
I tried to organize my folders
But where were they hanging
I meant to pick up my kids but I forgot to have them
I tried to do my job but was drawing unemployment
I tried to walk but lost my legs in battle
I headed to my gym, but had no membership

I tried to drive my car but had no fuel
I tried to eat lunch at four thirty
I tried to fall asleep while the sun was speaking
I tried to walk my cat but it lost its paws
I tried to play guitar but had sold the strings
I tried to make a call in seventeen eighty three
I tried to hear a song with my eardrums punctured
I put on my boxing gloves to run a marathon
I tried to read but the language was dead
I tried to watch the game but it was out of season
I went to vote in a dictatorship

I tried to dance but the audience was hardlined
So I said a prayer but the god had hung up
I built a fire but no sticks were invented
I tried to bleed but was without a heart
I even tried to write with no utensil
And take a test without going to class
My bird watching days were going poorly on Mercury
I wanted to ride the wave in the forest
And collect timber from the coral reef
I bought a promise of a kangaroo in Sweden
Then hopped on an ocean liner to Lesotho

I tried to get a visa to Zaire
And tried to travel without any papers
And checked out of prison without doing any time
I showed up to court without my lawyer
After I tried to argue my case without a defense
I tried to build a fort with no walls
And a castle inside of a valley
I tried to fly away without any wings
And design a zoo without any animals
And an observatory with no telescope
A window with no glass
And a gymnasium with no sports

I wanted to pass off as British with no English
Have a barbeque with no grill
And eat pasta with no sauce
Clean the floor with no mop
Turn the door with no handle
Fire someone without being the boss
Get the mail with no deliveries
Punch a dude with no violence
Get married without a commitment
And ride a bike with no pedals
Teach without lessons
Be a historian with no history

When I got started on one task
Another one stampeded in and shook
My whole room with knocked me out
Of my chairless seat and onto the rug
With no fabric which sprained my ankle
With no muscles and tendons and my bones
With no marrow connected to my back
Which was without a vertebrae or spine
Oh yes, I remember what I was doing
This morning I was planning to straighten everything out
So I grabbed the newest ruler and snapped it