Justin Marquez „It Costs Nothing To Dream“

FESCH.TV INFORMIERT:

When thinking about the self, there are a lot of ways in which one can go about it, from accomplishments, to experiences, to the physical weight of being a human being. Through these different frameworks (and many others), we can learn how to see ourselves holistically, as a constellation of things that make us who we are.

“It Costs Nothing To Dream” is a personal reflection on my growth as an individual. I navigate topics of consumption, dreaming, and family ties through the lens of thrifting and buying second hand.

Finding a unique jacket at the swap meet is satisfying, but how does the experience change when that jacket is from a brand you’d never think of finding second hand? What are the implications of finding that needle in the haystack? The question ”what happens when an unrealistic dream comes true?” is central to my exploration of self as it relates to the story. It’s rhetorical, and is a way for me to reflect on a personal anecdote that I find near and dear to my heart.

IT COSTS NOTHING TO DREAM — SCRIPT

Growing up, the thrift store was one of my family’s preferred weekend outings.

It was something to do, that didn’t cost much, and more importantly, a reason for us to get out of that house.

But at the time, I was very in tune with social media, and tried to keep up with what was trendy.

I used to genuinely get excited seeing what certain brands I liked at the time were releasing, knowing good and damn well I wouldn’t be able to afford any of it.

So my reality was grounded in my family’s frugal practices, but my mind was free to dream about owning, experiencing, and being a part of that mens fashion culture that was being presented online.

I think people who thrift or buy second hand have, in the back of their mind, this dream of finding the perfect piece. That piece is different for everyone, but for me in high school that dream was miraculously finding one of those brands in a thrift outing with my family.

I used to look at every single item in the mens section, hoping to find that “it” piece. I left no rack unchecked.

I thumbed through the selection at my local goodwill with the most precision, wondering what the next graphic print would be.

Suffice to say it never happened; the closest I got to it was finding knockoffs here and there, to which I put back with disappointment.

I understand that it’s ridiculous to think like this, even back then, and yet I still had these dreams.

I realized early on that it costs nothing to dream; it was my mantra, something to justify my thoughts and actions, my inclination to keep up with the new releases online.

A couple of years ago, one of my friends asked if I wanted to go to an automotive swap meet. I said sure, not expecting anything really. I mean best case scenario I found something, worst case scenario I enjoyed the day, walking around looking at random car parts.

It was a nice day; I had managed to find a tee, and a couple of records.

As we were making our final rounds, we came across one of the last booths we hadn’t yet visited in the large parking lot.

We stopped for a second and checked out the unique blend of car parts and clothing the vendor had for sale.

It was an innocent stop like all the others, but–

In the corner of my eye I noticed a bright red letterman sticking out on one of the rounded clothing racks. I went over and checked it out.

It had happened, my unrealistic, childish dream came true. It turned out to be a Hysteric Glamour jacket, which I had recognized by it’s loud, pop art style.

I asked the vendor his price, and almost immediately counter offered, to which he declined. I mean it was worth a shot. “Maybe tomorrow,” he said. I remember getting irritated because I was under the impression that this was a one day event, so I thought he was telling me to get lost.

I bit the bullet, agreed to his initial offer, and we went on our way.

To this day It’s my favorite jacket I own –– and ironically the thing I wear the least.

No, I don’t even consider it when picking what to wear for the day. I’ve probably worn it only a handful of times, when I’m really feeling it.

It just takes up space, and being one of the loudest things in my closet means it catches my eye every single day.

Why don’t I wear it frequently?

Is it because I don’t use Instagram anymore, the app I used to keep up with the mens fashion scenes?

Or is It because of the rarity of the situation, that makes me want to avoid wearing it, in the event that I’ll damage it?

How can I like something, yet somehow avoid any and all engagement with it?

I mean, what happens when an unrealistic dream comes true? Where are you supposed to go from there?

Will I ever find another “it” piece? Or is this just the one?

I’ve probably peaked with this find, and yet it hangs in my closet, just like at the swap meet.

If I happened to ask my mom, she would probably say that it was just a waste of money.