Dream Focus

FESCH.TV INFORMIERT:

I want to stop dreaming.

Daydreaming, I drift away daily to the version of myself I want to be.
I Work, they need me, somewhere I am safe, blessed to have stability. No need for worries no need for stress. Work, daydream, go home, daydream in the car, tired, sleep, and back to work.

A screaming voice inside my head, when I close my eyes I see her. Beautifully flowing and inviting, yet when I sleep she is mad at me. Why are we here? Why are you not free? Why do you hide? Why don’t you create? Why don’t you move? Why can’t I come out? Scream, fight, beg. I wake up go back to work, compress myself to fit in, daydream, carefully choose my words to avoid conflict, go home daydream in my car, tired of pretending to be someone I’m not, sleep, see her again, and back to work.

I see my hair flow in the water, down the drain. I gag like she puts her hands around my throat. I cry yet I don’t know exactly why? All the warnings your mind and body can give to let you know there’s something wrong. They need me, I’m safe, blessed to have stability. No need for worries no need for stress. Yet, I stress.

Did I lose myself?
I’m done dreaming, so I started doing. Started a fashion course, something I might like. And I turn out to really like it. Still, I am tired. The exhaustion is still inside me, however, my mind feels alive. Keep on going and going, closer to the feeling I want to feel. To the dream, I want to live. Now back to work.

Special thanks to Roy Verver for the effortless understanding and incredible workflow.

Roy Verver Director of Photography, Film editing, set design, animation.

Concept artist, Graphic design, styling, acting & writer.
Me : …